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TO ALL THE CONFUSED PEOPLE OUT THERE.

including myself...


here it goes...



Being a Christian isn't easy. It's one of THE MOST difficult things I'll ever be doing in my entire life. I realized that now. You have to obey, follow the rules and live knowing that whatever you do, God will always be watching. Whatever you say, He'll be listening and whatever you think, He knows it before it even popped in your head...

Now, why am I saying this?

Because it only dawned on me now.


For the past couple of months, I'll admit, I've been backsliding and going forward in the Faith. Sure, I haven't been doing drugs or getting myself drunk or doing those "extreme" things you see teenagers on TV do some times, but a BACKSLIDE will always be A BACKSLIDE.


I've been searching for this answer that has been secretly locked up somewhere in the vast world, not having to know a clue where to find it. This answer to my question " HOW COULD I LIVE. I mean.. LIVE LIFE PROPERLY. Live a life where I don't have to be guilt-stricken all the time. A life that means much more.

Though I had a feeling that a lot of people would probably say something with the starting word GOD... it didn't seep into me. I had not a single problem about that, but it felt like He was telling me the answer is something else. That it was much more deeper than that.


Tonight, I found it in the most unfortunate twist of circumstance.

He told me, through a really good friend of mine, that though obeying and following the rules and regulations of the Lord is important, the main idea that God is pointing out is simple..

JUST HAVE FAITH.
in everything.
in every single situation
in all that you do.

The church is there to guide you. The bible is there, more often than not, as a way for God to communicate with you through the text you're reading.

But the real and only way you could ever understand life is when you just have FAITH in GOD.

I'm not a preacher.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not anywhere close to that
I can't even say I thoroughly obey every single things He said.
Most of the times, I even contradict it..
But I know He still loves me.


So now, I have to go through this whole mess I started. I don't know whether or not I'm gonna keep my bestfriend. I don't know if we're gonna be ok.

I just don't know.

but what i do know is that..


It'll be Faith that'll keep me going.

I'm human...i need reasons. I need something to hold unto.

And as much as I know a lot more people out there are having a much harder time than I am, I just wanted to get this out.

I miss my bestfriend so much and I know that I'm forgiven already.. but a part of me feels like it's about to jump off a 30-storey building.

Might as well just keep moving forward...