The end of a chronicle

Hi. 


It's been a long time since I've updated this blog simple cause workload has flooded me since. I miss writing down my thoughts but surprisingly, i don't miss it for the same reasons as before. 




If you've been reading my blog, it's all been (well, most of it anyway) about this ONE BOY that I've loved and lost. Seems a bit superficial/naive of me to do, right?


Well, here's the thing. It's been 6 months of being single. 6 months of thinking and analyzing my life as a single person. 


But what is being single? 


I thought that having a boyfriend would fix a problem of mine that I've had ever since middle school. I never really realized it until I asked a good friend of mine to describe and told me what he thinks about me. 


He said: 
 "You're highly misunderstood, you just really wanna be a part of a family, something you have been yearning eversince, may it be in your actual family, or in church, and it is one thing your heart longs for. there are times people misunderstand you but it is just you wanting to feel that family."


Which is very true. 


Ok, here it goes. 


Having a boyfriend made me feel that I belonged somewhere. Having him made me have the confidence to talk to other people and make friends. It was because of him people actually talked to me. Now that we're not together anymore, I thought that I don't belong anywhere anymore outside of school. People take their sides. Friendships burned. And yes, it was my fault. 


It's been 6 months of contemplation that has led me to this. 


Sometime January, I went back to church. Honestly, I've been traumatized to go back to church because I was scared to be judged and to be talked about again. It was an innate gut feeling that, though many may contradict by say that I'm simply exaggerating or being paranoid, changed my view on what acceptance and friendship was. 


I have made mistakes. I have made wrong turns and some, I took twice. I'm far from perfect and have passed through a lot. I may not have the worst life, but I don't have the best either. 


Pain is pain. No matter where it came from or what the backstory is, it still takes a part of you and breaks you. It doesn't matter how hard it hits or how bad the damage was, it still hurts. Nothing can change that.


But what I learned was this. 


I BELONG SOMEWHERE. Everyone does. Belongingness doesn't start here on Earth. It starts with God. I have a very small group of people who I know I could run to and accepts me, faults and all. But even then, I don't know how far a friendship or a relationship can be pushed until it breaks because here on Earth, everything has their breaking points. It's only a matter of time and situation. But with God? NOTHING you can do, say, think, or feel can make Him love you any less. I've cursed Him, displeased Him, did things that it totally opposite from what He want me to do and yet He ran after me and said "I WANT HER". There are times I still cry wondering how my life would've been like if things happened differently. But no matter what I do, I can't go back. Things happen for a reason. Right now, we may not know why, but in the end, we would. 


It's been 6 months and I'm moving forward. 


No matter what I do and even if I stop, life doesn't stop with me. Cold hard truth is? The people you cry for don't always cry for you. The people you think about don't always think about you. The people you love, don't always love you. 




But He does. I get m strength from him. I may not be running straight back to Him right now, but I'm crawling. Slowly. Surely. I'm coming home. I'll get there. 


I'm starting. 

BLUSHHH.

IN relevance to my promise this term, I'm currently jotting down my thoughts in a form of a blog in order to well... cope up with my emotional instability...



I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I JUST SAID. :))


Ok, so right now it's computer class and we just got our test papers back :) It's actually one of the highest grades i've gotten so far in this class. teehee.

To the upper batch, your videos are nice :))) We're really really inspired by them. Especially K-DAWG's :))))


anywhooo... I'll continue with me real post later. :)  I'm just, well... chilling i guess. :)

My Short Film Script First Draft.

This is what happens when you're left with nothing to do on Christmas Vacation and all the memories come flooding back. Both your own and the people you love's experiences and encounters in life that may seem all too much.

Song:Arms- Christina Perry

(Clips start flashing of them being sweet together and fighting and getting back together and some more fighting. Then the last clip shows both of them in their respective offices dumping themselves on the their seat, sighing.)

(VO-Mitch): Love.

(VO-Adam):  Love.

(VO-M): It’s the most complicated thing on Earth.

(VO-A): Girls make it seem so complicated.

(VO-M): Guys just don’t understand.

(VO-A): Girls let go to easy.

(VO-M): Guys don’t know when the timing’s right.

(VO-A): Girls don’t know how to wait.

(Both sighs)

Song: Lucky-Jazong Mraz and Colbie Callait

Scene 1: (Mitch and Adam are in the park walking while holding hands. They were still teenagers. Mitch holds a small bouquet of white roses in one hand. )

(VO-Mitch): That was us before. I was a couple of years younger than him. We’ve been together for about half a year that time. Been best friends for over 2 years.  We always knew we liked each other. He was my bestest friend. My confidant. We were so happy.

(VO-Adam): She was my world. I tried my best to protect her. She was amazing. She was my best friend. She was my silver-lining.

(In the park)

Mitch: Hey Love?

Adam: Yeah? What is it?

Mitch: Are we just gonna walk around for the rest of the day? Don’t you have anything to do like homework or something?

Adam: (chuckles). HOMEWORK?! Love, it’s summer. Classes don’t start til June. Are you ok?

Mitch: Oh yeah. Crap, I’m so sorry. I guess I’m just a bit pre-occupied.

Adam: What’s wrong?

Mitch: College is in 3 months. I’m not use to it. Especially since you’re gonna be 3 hours away from me now. You’re gonna be too far from me. (Clutches tight with both hands on Adam’s arm.)

Adam: Hey. It’s gonna be ok. (stops walking and faced Mitch. He kisses her forehead). I’m gonna find a way to come to if you need me. You know I will. Ok? And College?. PSH. You can do it. I know you. You’re my Mitch. You’re too strong for little things like college to knock you down. (Both start to walk again. Adam looks up.) that’s why I love you.

Mitch: Whatever. You’re just saying that…. I love you too Adam.

(Adam puts his arm around Mitch. They come across a bench and sits down.)

Adam: Mitch, we’ve got 3 more months. I’ll make sure to make it the best three months we’ve got ok? I love you. You’re mine and I’m yours. It’ll always be like this forever.

Mitch: I know it will. Thanks love.

(pause)

(VO-Mitch): But it didn’t last forever.

(VO-Adam): Those three months went by faster than the wind during a signal number 5 typhoon in the Philippines.

(pictures of them in the mall, eating together, swimming together, photobooth pictures etc. etc.)

(Fade to black and then camera goes down to both of them back in the park at night lying down looking at the stars. )

Mitch: Thanks for the summer. It’s the best one I’ve had. (Looks at Adam and smiles. She grabs his hand and holds it.)

Adam: I do it because I want to see you smile. It’s the best summer I’ve had too.

Mitch: I don’t want it to end. I wish we could stay like this forever.

Adam: I know honey.

(pause)

(VO-mitch and adam): But, it didn’t.

Song: The Scientist- Coldplay

(Pictures of them in their schools with different people. Flashes of how busy there day is. Then we see pictures of them fighting on the phone and both of them crying in the end. Clips of them shouting at each other and getting mad at each other.)

Cut out music.

(VO-Mitch): by the time that summer ended, we both got really busy with school.

(VO- Adam): I couldn’t cope up with what she wants. She was getting way too demanding.

(VO-Mitch): I was expecting the same thing from him since he promised he’d be there. He promised to protect me.

(VO-Adam): People were telling me it wasn’t the right time and by the amount of fights we have on a monthly basis, I’m thinking they’re right.

(VO-Mitch): I wanted my best friend back.

(VO-Adam): I just didn’t know if I love her enough anymore.

(VO-Mitch): He said he didn’t love me like he did before.

(VO-Adam): I just couldn’t handle it anymore.

(VO-mitch): I didn’t want him to suffer anymore.

(Goes back to that park on top of a hill).

Adam: I love you, but I just don’t know if I ---

Mitch: If you love me enough to be with me. I get it.

Adam: So this is it I guess.

Mitch: I guess so.

Adam: Who knows? Maybe when we get older, we could try this again.

Mitch: I don’t think so. It’s too much. You know what’s going on with me. What I go through. If you leave me at the time I need you the most, then don’t bother coming back.

Adam: What YOU’RE GOING THROUGH?! Stop be so insensitive. I know it’s hard, but you don’t need me! It’s just college Mitch! Stop being so immature! I just… I can’t do this anymore!

Mitch: Fine. (Drops her part of the couple ring on the ground)

Adam: Mitch… please… don’t make it harder.

Mitch: No… you said you don’t love me the way you did before. I don’t want to expect one day you’ll love me like that again cause then I know that once I give you another chance, you’ll just do the same thing. I’m sorry. Just go.

(Adam turns with his head down. When he’s out of the scene, Mitch breaks down and cries.)

(VO-Mitch): It was the day my heart broke for the first time. I never heard from him since then.

(fade to black)

( 7 years later)

(Mitch is a med student now. She comes home wearing with her books and physician’s kit and turns on the TV. She flips through the channels when suddenly, she sees Adam being interviewed.)

Reporter: So Mr. Hoser, how does it feel to be the sole number 1 topnotcher in the law bar exams?

Adam: Well, it’s still all surreal to me. I prepared really well for the examinations, but I didn’t expect to be the top.

Reporter: Well, that’s great. Now I bet with those good looks and brains of yours, some of our viewers might be wondering if there’s someone who inspires you to achieve such great things. Mind if you tell if there is a special someone?

Adam: Actually I---

(Mitch turns off the TV. She throws the remote on the other side of the couch and slumps down in utter shock.)
Mitch: Oh Crud.

(In the Interview itself)

Adam:-- I do have someone special. She's my inspiration and the main reason why I try to achieve. I want to give her the best life she could have. I lost her once, and now, I'm building myself up to get her back. 

(Screen fades to black)

(Scene 2)

Song: (Goes straight to verse 1: All of the lights)

(Music plays and an overview of the city is shown. Cars passing by, people going through their normal everyday lives. (VO-MITCH: It’s been 3 years since I saw that stupid show. A lot of things changed since then.)

(Music stops)

( We then see her walking out of the hospital with her lab coat still on and going to her car. She’s taking her 2^nd year of internship now. Adam sees her in the parking lot talking to someone on the phone.)

Song: Nothing on you-Bruno mars

(VO-Adam: I couldn’t believe it. She pushed through with her plans of becoming a doctor. She never stopped looking beautiful. I missed her so much. I wonder if she saw me on TV. I wonder if she still hates me. What if I…(He starts to walk towards her, but as he was about to, Mitch goes in her car and drives off.Music stops. Adam stands there dumbfounded. He enters the hospital.)

(A couple of days later they saw each other again in the 7-eleven near the hospital.)

Song: Love Song

Mitch:(thinking to herself) Oh shoot.

VO-Adam:(thinking to himself) OH Shoot.

(Adam walks towards her.Music fades.)

Adam: Hey there.

Mitch: Uhm, hi.

Adam: Do you still remember me?

Mitch: (looks directly at Adam) Yup. Every bit of you.

Adam: Hmmm.. Well, How are you?

Mitch: I’m ok.

Adam: that’s good. I see you’re a doctor now. That’s great!

Mitch: yeah. Thanks. (heads up to counter to pay for her soda and chips. Adam follows her.)

Adam: Oh here. Let me. (reaching for his wallet) 

Mitch: No thanks I can do it.

Adam: No. I insist.

Mitch: Look, I can do this ok? I’ve been doing this by myself for over 10 years now. I’m not 16 anymore. (Pays for everything and walks straight out the door, adam catches up with her in the parking lot.)

Adam: I know you can. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. Can I at least make it up to you? Dinner tonight? Maybe ATC? How does that sound?

Mitch: No.

Adam: What?

Mitch: You heard me. No.

Adam: wait wait.. why?

Mitch: you walked out on me 10 years ago and you expect me to accept and invitation from you 10 years after? What are you getting at here?

Adam: Look Mitch, I was stupid. I saw you the other day and I realized how much I miss my best friend. I miss you. I know this is a long shot but please, can we please be best friends again?

Mitch: Mr. Hoser, I’m not a teenager anymore. You’re not teenager anymore. We’ve gone passed that. You told me to stop being immature, and I am. You’re a lawyer. I’m a doctor. We both got what we wanted in life. What’s done is done.

(Adam holds her down)

Adam: Please, just give me one more shot. I don’t care what it takes for you to forgive me. Just please. Can I please be your friend again. Please give me one more chance. (Kneels down)

Mitch: Crap! Get up from there! You’re making a scene!

Adam: I won’t until you say yes.

Stranger in a car: JUST SAY YES ALREADY! I’m trying to park my car here!

Mitch: FINE FINE FINE. Tonight. Meet me in ATC. 7pm. (gets in her car and drives off).

Adam: *whispers to himself: Yes.

Song: Name-Goo Goo dolls

(Clips of them having dinner and walking around the mall. They’re  getting along pretty well. Laughing and going through stores. Then we see Adam bringing Mitch to her car)

Mitch: Thanks for dinner.

Adam: No probs. So does this mean that… ?

Mitch: Does this mean that what?

Adam: Do you forgive me now?

Mitch: Yeah. Sure I guess.

Adam: Yes! So you’re my..

Mitch: No. I said I forgive you. I didn’t say you can intrude back in my life like that again. Thanks for tonight. I’ve had fun.

Adam: I understand. Ok. Sure. (Opens the door for Mitch)

(As mitch drives away) VO-Adam: She always gets to leave me.

(Camera goes to Mitch as she drives. )

VO-Mitch: It’s my turn to leave him.(Music stops)

(Blackout.)

Song: Bruises- Chairlift

VO-Adam: After that night, I knew she was still the girl I had as my best friend 10 years ago. I just had to get close to her again.

VO-Mitch: I promised myself to not fall for that same trick… am I just that foolish?

 ( More hang out clips. We see one where Adam picks her up from the hospital. Another where they go around the mall. Another where they stay in the house just hanging out still in their work clothes. They go out to bars together and fancy dinners. Camera then goes up to focus on the night sky and fades to black for a while).

(scene 3)

(Adam calls Mitch, Mitch picks up the phone after a couple of rings)

Mitch: Good Morning this is Dr. Patelle.

Adam: Hey Mitch.

Mitch: Oh. Hi Adam! What’s up?

Adam: Nothing much. I just had the roughest court trial. I really really really badly need a de-stresser. Wanna go grab something to eat later?

Mitch: Uh, sure I guess. I’m just about to do my last rounds. Be out by 2.

Adam: Great. I’ll see you then. Pick you up at your house?

Mitch: Yup.

Adam: ok. See you then.

Mitch: bye. (Puts down the phone)

Adam: (looks at the small ring box he holds in his hands.) bye.

(Scene 4)

Song: Jet Lag-White Dress- Ben rector

(We see Mitch in her house getting ready. She wears a sundress she hasn’t worn in a while. It still fits her perfectly. She puts on her make-up. The camera shifts to the other side wherein we see Adam fixing his coat and tie. He fixes his hair when the doorbell rings. He goes up to the gate when he sees Erich. Music stops.)

(Erich looks up and hugs Adam. Adam’s stunned and as he’s about to pull Erich out, Mitch passes by with her car and spots the two.)

Mitch: I should’ve known.

(Goes back to Erich and Adam)

Song: Just a feeling-Maroon 5

Adam: Erich… what in the world are you doing?

Erich: I’m sorry. I just don’t know who to turn to. I missed you so bad Adam. Please take me back (She stars breaking down.)

(Adam’s even more in shock. He pulls her away.)

Adam: Look. Erich. What we had was both not real. You knew it. I knew it. Every one knew it. Heck, even both of our parents knew it! I was your rebound. You jumped at the first chance another guy courted you. You not only played when you were cheating, but you managed to play me even when you weren’t. I love someone else. Ok? Actually (takes a deep breath), I never loved anyone else but her. You hear me? (Stands straight and fixes his collar.)Now, if you would excuse me. I have to go ask her to marry me. (walks out of the gate to his car.)

Erich: And what about me?!

Adam: (Yells from the side of the car) What about you? (Gets in the car and drives.)

Scene 4:

(Adam pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant. He enters the door and immediately sees Mitch with her head down. He approaches her.)

Adam: Hey there!

Mitch: (looks up) Hey.
Adam: What’s wrong?

Song: How to Save a life-The fray

Mitch: (In the verge of crying. Her voice starts to crack a little.) What’s wrong? Adam I passed by your house a while ago. I saw her. She’s one pretty girl. Really held onto you tight, did she?

Adam: Mitch, it’s not wha—

Mitch: Save it Adam. I thought you wanted this whole thing another chance. I thought it would finally pull through. YOU WOULD FINALLY PULL THROUGH. I should’ve listened to my gut this time.

Adam: WAIT. What are you trying to say here? Why are you so affected?

Mitch: (slams the table) BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. I loathe myself for it but it's something I can erase. I've been loving you since then. Always have and always will... 

Adam: Mitch... I didn't know.

Mitch: Yeah. I never knew it either until tonight... Excuse me. 

(Mitch stands up and almost instantly, Adam stands up too. But as Mitch tries to walk, she suddenly falls. Adam rushes to her side.)

Adam: Mitch! (goes down to try to wake her up.) Mitch! Please don’t do this to me! Wake up! Mitch! (tries to wake her up.)

(Music stops)

VO-Mitch: And Just like that.

VO-Adam: And just like that.

 (Blackout)

VO- Adam: She was gone.

Song: Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley

(Slow-motion of Adam carrying her out of the restaurant. Sudden black out.)

(Another clip is shown wherein the doctor in the emergency room tells Adam that Mitch is gone. Adam breaks down crying.)

VO-Adam: (He starts having random blackflashes of the time Mitch and him were still together. Both when they were teenagers and the most recent.) She was my world. I tried my best to protect her. She was amazing. She was my best friend.

Scene 5: Adam knocks on the door of Mitch’s house. Mitch’s mom opens the door.

Adam: Mrs. Patelle?

Mrs. Patelle: Adam…

(They hug each other. Mrs. Patelle crying and Adam just holding her.)

Adam: I’m so sorry.

Mrs.Patelle: She loves you so much.

(Mrs.Patelle catches her breath and pulls away. She leads Adam inside the house and made him sit on the couch. She then hands Adam a box.)

Mrs. Patelle: She wanted you to have this. She said if anything happened to her, to make sure you get this. Honey, thank you for making her last few days here happy. Excuse me, I’ll just go fix her things.

(Mrs.Patelle leaves. Adam opens the box. He finds all their pictures there. The shirt he gave her. The bracelet and the necklace. The receipts from their dates. Everything. On top of it all, he finds the bouquet of flowers he gave her when they were at the park that summer 10 years ago and a letter attached to it addressed to him. He opens the letter.)

Song: Arms wide open- Boyce Avenue Cover

Adam: Love, I know…

VO-Mitch: (Memories of her sitting in the doctor’s office getting her results playes. We see her crying in the bathroom as she looks at Adam’s picture. We then shifted to when she had to start wearing a wig. The times she’d cut herself and cry herself to sleep.)  i know i haven't been the greatest girlfriend in the world. I know I've done a lot of things wrong and I know that you don't love me like you did before. But I want you to know that no matter what, i'm keeping my promise. my heart is forever yours. I won't blame you if you find another girl. Love her the way I love you. She must be the most amazing girl in the world to have the most amazing guy in the world as hers. Adam, i didn't tell you this because i didn't want you to pity me today at the park. I have cancer. Doctor's say that I'll start my treatment in 2 months so that they'll have time to work things out with the medical records and results. Thank you for the greatest summer of my life. I will never forget my best friend. I love you forever and always."

Adam: P.S.: I kept the flowers you gave me to remind each and every day that even the most beautiful things here on earth, dies. Everything except the fact that no matter what you do, you will always be with me and I will always be with you. Mitch.

(Zoom out on Adam on the couch crying.)

V.O -Adam: I will never fully understand why this had to happen to me. To the woman I loved. If only I could turn back time, I would’ve change it in an instant. But no. I can’t. My everything… she’s gone.

Scene 5: Adam is seen in the visiting Mitch’s grave. He puts down her picture and a candle. He sits there just reflecting.

VO-Adam: It’s been a year since she left. Sometimes, I could still hear her laughter. In my sleep, I see her smile. In my dreams, I still feel her hand hold mine. I miss her so much, but I know that she’s still with me.

(Out of nowhere, white rose petals fall.)

VO-Adam: And I will forever be hers.

Song: If I Die Young- The Band Perry.

(The Screen turns black. A slide is shown saying: “If you could change anything today, why wait until tomorrow?”)

End.